🙂 = The world is literally your playground. No chairs or tables cramping your style. No busy food servers to run you over. No high-society snobs or single people judging you. These are the streets of New York. Weird and crazy is normal here.
🙁 = No high chairs. No chairs. No boosters. No kids menu. No kids eat free. No adults eat free. No changing table. No tables. No bathrooms. No doors. No windows. No walls.
Notes: There are 5 locations but the original is located on 53rd St & 6th Ave in front of the Hilton. All locations are open from 10AM- 4AM (5AM on Fri & Sat) except for the East Village which is open at 11AM.
Tips: Be liberal with the “white sauce.” Take it easy on the “red sauce.” That stuff is molten lava hot. If you can, go on a weekday during off peak lunch/dinner hours to avoid lines around the block. Last but not least, BE CAREFUL! There are imposters pretending to be the original Halal Guys!
In celebration of our last day in Gotham City, I busted out a fresh pair of Batman Underoos. Pops had a special day planned for us which started off with a sweet bus tour of NYC called…wait for it…The Tour. For real though, if you ever want to play tourist while you’re in New York, then The Tour is a must. Trust me. You’ve never been on a bus ride like this before. I wouldn’t “steer” you wrong (Get it? Like a bus? I got mad comic skills). Anyways, after cruisin’ around in a multimillion dollar bus (yeah, you heard me right), the parentals showed this TodFoo™ some love with a visit to the M&M store and Toys R’ Us in Times Square. And check it. Toys R’ Us had a GI-NORMOUS ferris wheel INSIDE the store! I peed my ‘roos, yo! Couldn’t help it. But like all good superheroes, their mom and dad always roll with a spare.
And contrary to popular belief, wetting yourself builds up quite an appetite. So, for our last meal in The Big Apple, pops had something brilliant in store…
The Halal Guys. Yup. Those Halal Guys. The “can I get extra white sauce on that” Halal Guys.
Here’s the thing. I don’t know what it is about street food (food carts/food trucks/whatever), but they’re just beast! Maybe it’s the instant gratification. Could be because they focus on one type of food and rock the snot out of it. Or perhaps, it allows me to be more one with nature. Eating outside. From a truck. Or a cart. Something about it just appeals to my more primitive side. I am three after all, whose utensils of choice are his hands. But whatever the reason, street food just rocks my reality. Why they don’t qualify for Michelin stars is beyond me. It gets me wondering if dudes like Eric Ripert or David Chang would still be Michelin rated if they were operating out of a street cart.
But back to The Halal Guys. The “Halal for one, and one for Halal” Guys. This was the original corner – 53rd & 6th. I was food struck. So was pops. Moms was like, “Whatever, I’m hangry,” as usual. It was a late lunch/early dinner which worked to our benefit since lines for this spot at peak times are notorious for stretching around the block. And NY blocks aren’t your ordinary city blocks. But at 3PM on a Monday, there were only two dudes in front of us. Regardless, The “Sleep Halal day, up Halal night” Guys had a strict and efficient ordering protocol reminiscent of Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi – one Halal Guy works the queue, asks your order, you tell him what you want, step aside, then he yells the order in another language to three more Halal Guys working the cart in assembly line fashion.
We ordered 2 combos (chicken and lamb) over rice and in less than 2 minutes…BAM! We had our food. They no longer keep their “white sauce” in a squeeze bottle like years past. They don’t even put them in plastic sauce containers like they did as recently as last year. Oh no. The “Halal work and no play” Guys are movin’ on up. They package their sauce now. That’s straight baller right there! They give you two packets of “white sauce” and 2 packets of “red sauce” per dish, which is more than enough to give your meat and rice a good coating. And that “white sauce” that put these guys on the map is no joke. Everything you heard about the “white sauce” is true. It looks and has the consistency of ranch dressing. But don’t let looks fool you. This stuff really is special. And when you mix it with the lamb, chicken, veggies, pita, and rice…it becomes stuff of pure legend. It’s. That. Good. And the portions? Massive.
But the best part? One combo over rice = $7. Mind blown. Even ‘bester’ than that? They just signed a franchise deal to bring The “Halal in Halal you’re just another brick in the wallal” Guys to DC and NoVa! Mind even ‘blowner’. Yeah, you know I’ll be hittin’ that up fo’ sho’!
Bite-size peacin’ out of NYC! See ya’ll back in the Nation’s Cap!